Biblical Marriage: God’s Design and Purpose

Good morning. Praise the Lord. To start off service, I will be reading from Philippians 4:es 6-7. Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. So when Apostle Paul was writing this letter, he wasn't in necessarily a nice place or the comfort of his home. He was actually writing from a prison cell. And even though he was going through tough times and he wasn't very certain of his future, he didn't let that overtake him or stress him out. Um, in our daily lives, it's really easy to let our situation stress us out or just not even think to pray. But the Apostle Paul tells us, no matter big or small, give all the things to the Lord through prayer. Um, so when we pray today, give God your anxious thoughts and receive the peace that he offers to you. Let's stand and pray. Lord Jesus, we thank you God for bringing us here together to praise your name, Jesus. Another Sunday, God, that you've given us. We thank you, God, that you care and you tell us to cast our cares upon you, Jesus. Bless the service, God, and help us to honor your name and bless the speakers today. In your name we pray. Amen. Amen. And for our first song, we'll be singing Wonderful Words. [music] Sing [music] them [singing] over again to me. Wonderful words of life. Let me [singing] more of their beauty. [music] See wonderful words of life. Words of life and beauty. Teach me [music and singing] faith and duty. Wonderful words. Wonderful words. Wonderful words [singing and music] of life. Wonderful words. Wonderful words, [music] wonderful [singing] words of life. Christ the blessed [singing and music] one gives to all wonderful [singing] words of life. Serless [music] to the loving call. Wonderful words [singing] of life. [music] also freely given, wooing us [singing and music] to heaven. Beautiful words, wonderful words, wonderful [music and singing] words of life. Beautiful words, wonderful [singing] words, [music] wonderful words of life. We [music and singing] echo the gospel call. Wonderful words of life. Offer [music and singing] pardon and peace to all. Wonderful words of life. Jesus [music and singing] only savior sanctify [music and singing] forever. Beautiful words. [singing] Wonderful words. [music] Wonderful words [singing] of life. Beautiful [music] words. Wonderful words. Wonderful [singing] words of life. [music] And for our second song, we'll be singing Leaning on the Everlasting Arms. What a [singing] fellowship, what a joy divine. Leading [music and singing] on the everlasting arms. What [music and singing] a blessedness. What a peace is mine. Leading on the [music] everlasting [singing] arms. Leaning. [music] Leaning [singing] safe and secure from all alarms. Leaning, [music and singing] leaning, leaning [music and singing] on the everlasting arms. Oh, [music] how [singing] sweet to walk in this pilgrim way. Leading [music and singing] on the everlasting arms. Oh, how bright the path grows [music] from day to day. Leaning on [singing] the everlasting arms. Leaning, leaning, safe [music and singing] and secure from all alarms. Leading, [music] leaning, leaning [singing] on the everlasting arms. What [singing and music] have I to dread? What have I to fear? Leading [singing] on the everlasting [music] arms. I have [singing] blessed peace with my Lord's ser from [music] all arms. Leaning, leaning, [music] leaning on the everlasting [singing] arms. Leaning, [music] leaning, safe and secure from all [singing and music] alarms. Leaning, leaning, [music] leaning on the everlasting [singing] arms. Praise God. Praise God friends. Uh praise God friends. Uh today we are speaking on the topic of marriage and I just wanted to read that's going to be in Matthew 19 and Jesus says these words and said for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. And today we're going to be learning and uh hearing from our speakers this morning about marriage, about what is marriage, uh what it is to live a godly marriage, how to fix relationships or marriages that are already kind of on the edge. We're going to be uh with God's help going through all those topics, but also um if you have a question, uh the the people at the front doors, they gave papers, so you can just write it down. If you need a pen, just raise your hand. We'll get you a pen. Um if you have questions, you can write it down. uh one of our brothers who's not here right now, Dimma, uh he can like walk around and pick up those papers. But um if we don't get through this topic this week, we will also be continuing it the the week after. But next week, actually, I just want to do a little bit of announcement because usually at the end I forget. Um but next week a lot of people are going to be gone. So service will be cancelled next week. Um and Bible study on Thursday will be cancelled. Bible reading will be cancelled on Tuesdays. So we will see everybody the week after. So just just remember that next week our Sunday service will be cancelled but we will resume on the 23rd. Um, and right now we're just going to take these few minutes to meet and greet each other and then we'll begin our how I call it the podcast series. Amen. Close your face. Oh my god. Stay still. [music] So [music] speakers can take their spots. Okay. Oh, yeah. Let's maybe move these. So this is another fun morning and um very important topics of our age because you know when I was getting married nobody told me uh what to do and how to do things. So you're kind of guessing through life. And I guess this is uh like it also builds your faith to hold on God even more. Um but but for sure marriage it's uh an important topic because we will go through um some questions that people online they ask and also there there's u these chats on on marriage and people ask all sorts of questions that either they go through or maybe some roadblocks that they're hitting in their marriage and um also things that we can improve in our marriages. Um hey, you know, if if your marriage is going smooth, praise God. Um, but [clears throat] I wanted to to start out with the statistics. And the statistics are actually pretty surprising because I know that just not long ago, I believe it was like 30 something% where we would see failed marriages. But as the years grow, the numbers grow as well. But the Bureau of Labor of Statistics uh reported that the first marriages eventually ending in divorce are 40 to 45%. Um and the the marriages ending in divorce by age of 55 is 46%. church hard and we want to to share this information with our congregation and as well those who are watching us online and also share these topics with our friends. uh before we go into this, but just like last time we had our topic on dating and it actually was a true blessing because I was able to go on our live stream and there were some people that just started that process and I said, "Watch this. Watch this." And they're like texting me back like, "What?" Like, "I'm watching it." I'm like, "Okay, good." you know, because there's a lot of good tips for um dating the right way. And what we learned last time, it was if you're going to date, it's it's to get married. And there's no point to wait. It's like you like her, you propose, and you know, you move on with your life. But, uh, practically that's what we saw. A lot of the relationships were blessed. So I'm going to ask our guests to introduce themselves and um I would ask for you all to share us uh to share with us how many years you've been married um how many children you have. Uh that's also you know we kind of want to to share that so people who are married say with no kids or with kids can kind of relate to to our guest speakers today. Um and the third one I forgot my wife uh January 6, 1984. We got married in July 19th 1985. So 41 years. Okay. And uh congratulations. That's a blessing. Yeah, we have uh she have two daughters um Analicia and Ally and then I have a son Thomas. Okay. And uh many grandchildren. Okay. So, thank you uh Vasilian Slana or Lana. Uh me and my wife Spitana uh been married together for 22 years. I got to double check. I don't It changes every year. How am I supposed to remember? And then um we have seven kids. Um we were married April 24th, 2004. Okay. 2004. Wow. I graduated from high school 2005. So, every time I say I graduated uh 21 years ago, I'm like, "Wait, what? 21 years ago? I'm that old?" Okay. Mics, please. Oh, here's one more. Okay, this one works. Uh my name is Peter and this is my wife Zoya. Uh so we've been married for 18 years. I have to double check with my wife always. [laughter] Uh and uh totally we have eight children. One is in heaven. So seven are here. Yes. So that's a brief intro. Awesome. Okay. So, we have our guest speakers, Dan, Vasili, Satlana, Zoya, and Peter, and we're going to ask them hard questions, but I think today we're just going to warm up and see where the time leads us. Uh, but but hopefully if we do have to come back, you guys are able to come back. Um, so the first question is, can you share with us one or a few things that kept your marriage strong? That's one of the questions that people ask um especially those that are maybe two three years into marriage and already experiencing some difficulties and that's one of the questions they ask. So I want to ask this question to to each one of you because um I believe that it could be one or it could be a few. Dan, please. Uh for me uh God has always been part of my life and my wife Erica. And when we first met, like I said, I always believed in God, but I never really went to church or anything. Never read the Bible and stuff. And over the years, my wife said, "You know, maybe you should go to church. Maybe we should go to church." And um over time she also said, you know, have you ever read the Bible? And I said, no, not really, but I've skimmed through it like a lot of people have. But uh uh so I've read it three times now. And the first time was a really pretty shocking because it's pretty brutal, you know, the early uh chapter of the Bible. Uh anyway, we uh um we've always had God in our life and that's always been the staple for us. Okay. Well, Vasili, is that it? Um I could go on and on, but I better not. Okay. Okay. Vasili. And then I want to also after you I want to ask Lana the same question. So, I I do remember when we first got married, probably uh we I don't remember if this was right before or or right after our marriage, uh we sat down and we uh decided that for us divorce was not going to be an option. And um and I I I admit there's sometimes I was like, why what am I doing? What am I here? But I was like, nope, I promised divorce is not going to be option. So I came back and uh no no no no matter how big the problem was or they weren't that big but they they you in your head they look big. Yeah. And at that moment and at that moment uh and and if divorce was not an option you just had to go go back and try to figure it out. So I think that that thought carried me through. Amen. Lana and what about from your end? love to each other give us. Yeah. Whatever happened in life, you just remember I love this person, we can go to Yeah. Love is strong. Uh Peter and Zoya I will uh share with them uh the the first uh Christ was always part of our life. We grew up in a Christian family. So, so we were raised as Christians and we had obviously a good example were our parents and so uh just remembering how they resolved uh uh conflict um which we did not see much of uh and uh but seeing them really rooted in their faith. they had a strong faith always like a consistent prayer. So this is what we did even even though uh there's always little bumps um in the marriage but just having that cons consistency I would say uh we always prayed in a morning and evening together. Um we uh would eat together uh and just do small things uh for each other uh daily that uh no matter if there was a conflict or not, you still do those things. and and that consistency it it helps um um it helps you pass through the rough time and then when the good times come you're happy that you were consistent right and that that um so yeah I would say those little consistent things in life uh spiritual and just little acts of kindness I would say uh they they go a lot to smooth out the the rough patches Um uh yeah so I agree and um well also yeah so your relationship with God is very important so you have to have a strong relationship with God like with God's help you know everybody um and also being thankful like if if you're if there's any like rough patch or something like that you think you're like so why did I like um what did I like about Peter when I before I got married or what was I like So you remember those things and then you also remember what you're thankful for right now like all the big things, little things, everything he does, lot lots of things. Um so you think of about that and then also just being thankful to God in general like for everything in your life and so that that's very important. Okay. So yes, go ahead. Yeah, that was from what I said was from my perspective. That was from my perspective. But my wife Erica, she wrote some stuff down and she put uh be careful what you say with words. Love is kind. Use kind words. Uh words of appreciation and compliments are very powerful. Don't belittle each other. Uh verbal compliments is better than nagging words. Um, words with a loud harsh voice does not show your expression of love. Communicate love verbally. Um, the way we speak the tone of our voice. One way to express love is to use compassion, words that build us up and inspire courage. And if you've ever met Erica or been around her, she's a very genuine person and and she has a lot of compassion for everybody. Yeah. So, so what we heard uh from this question is communication communication but also Christ Christ centered. Then then we heard uh Vasil's kind of that decision he made divorce is not an option so figure it out mentality. Um like Lana was talking about love you know love true love it it will forgive it will overcome those obstacles. Uh sometimes those obstacles seem so big at the moment, but literally two years down the road, you don't even remember those arguments. You don't even remember them. They they don't even exist in your mind, but at that moment, they could actually ruin your marriage. Um and uh with Peter and Zoya the conclusion was Christ centered and doing good deeds of kindness consistently no matter how you feel. No matter how you feel. Okay, we will be moving on. And this question I want to ask Peter and um Zoya. What is the biblical person of marriage purpose? like what is the biblical purpose of marriage? So let's first uh read from Genesis 2 18 and then I will read 21 and 24. Uh the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him I will make a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man was sleeping, the Lord God took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the ri. And he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. This is that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh. So [clears throat] what's the purpose of marriage? Why should I get married? Well, um if you have something to add, um I would say the purpose of marriage. One, two. If we look in Genesis, it here. Let me give you another mic. This this green one. I think the battery is going. Okay. uh when God uh created the purpose of marriage was for the human race obviously to continue because we as uh God said uh be fruitful and multiply and um when so so that's the that's the ultimate I would say uh purpose is God wanted to make sure that the human race continues on and um love comes into that that the scripture talks about love and two people becoming as one. Uh but ultimately uh I would say it's for the human race to continue to raise your children so they would understand and do the same thing. If we look that God he had a relationship with Adam and Eve. He would come out the scripture says and meet them in the evening. And so the point of that is to so they had this personal relationship with God also and when they were going to have children is to also teach those children to continue that relationship with God. So building those healthy families uh so the human race continues and um so I would say that's the ultimate purpose. Love sometimes um people put love as the ultimate thing. I my opinion is that's not the main goal o of marriage even though it should be part of marriage but people will do a lot of things I would say for love for example they'll they will love but but not have decide not to have any children I think that doesn't fulfill the purpose of marriage can we make the mics louder they're kind of quiet Hello. Okay. Um, so well there's a verse I think it's Jeremiah. It I think it kind of summarizes um the it well like so and I'll give them one heart and one way that they may fear me always for the good of their them and their children after them. So like one heart like in marriage where God promises that like um and love and so and then for your children so they'll you know be brought up in the fear of the Lord but in that loving family um environment. Yeah. Okay. And for uh Vasili and Lana um I want to ask you the second part. You can also if you want you can also share the first part um if you feel that there's there's something else to add but what does a Christ centered marriage look like every day like an everyday Christ centered marriage how does it look like? So I think these two questions do uh need to be answered together and I think they were um what Peter good job u I would probably just resummarize what Peter said uh what u biblical marriage and Christc center marriage looks like uh from the beginning uh man was lonely uh so so um uh can you imagine uh Christ being in heaven by himself uh you know so He he he's got a bride that's church. Um so u u then uh it provides a safe place for children to grow. A a good marriage. So uh Christc center marriage is u um when a husband and wife are uh love each other like Christ loved the church. Uh kids have a safe uh the kids are not traumatized by uh dad flinging uh stuff. Uh you know, he's angry and mom's doing all kinds of you know, just u temperamental stuff. Uh um and then also Peter mentioned it too, but I already forgot what he said. But yeah, so uh uh us following Christ's example of how he loves the church. He loves the church unconditionally. He loved us before we loved him back. Um he protects um so a husband should protect. He Jesus provides. So so so the man would provide uh so would so would the mother uh for the kids. Okay. So, uh, yeah, I'm going to translate. Okay. when a Christ center marriage in a couple um a couple's life then uh if there's any questions they refer to the Bible to the word of God. Okay. So what we heard right now that the biblical marriage is love is part of it but the bigger purpose is to have children uh so that generations don't fall off. Um and [sighs] and we heard that a Christ centered marriage is to to have if there are any questions the Bible is your foundation for your answers. Uh we heard that. But let me ask you guys again. Um one of you guys can answer this. Let's define marriage. What is marriage? Define marriage for us. I think to that first question, I would also add that and I agree with Vasili that um it's not good for men to be alone. Men was alone and I think at a certain age we come to where we feel like we're lonely and uh we need a a partner. Um and and that's where on once we begin and say okay I need a partner then how do you build that life? What's the point of that life? Okay so now uh I've chosen a partner. The the word of God says that whoever finds a good wife you know that's a gift from God. So we see that God is uh in the midst of this entire process and helps people uh to build these successful marriages and then once they've become a couple now where do they go from here, right? Do they lead a life that's just focused on themselves? You know, they're going to have adventures all over the world. just have fun for the entire life or like what what's the point? And and that's where it comes in is to uh uh we we see it in the scripture is to raise that next generation that uh they would first of all uh grow up to know uh to love and fear God and be also be able to build a successful family when they are ready because I would say a lot of people that are afraid to get married and have children. I I've talked to people and they said, "No, no, I never want to have children." I said, "Why?" Said, "I I could never raise them. I I I don't know how to do that." And and I get it. I I understand what they're saying because they never had that good healthy example in their own family. So, they don't know how to do it. And um and that's where it's important for us as parents to show that uh you know what does a Christian home look like? What does a successful family look like? And then our kids, they're not going to have that fear. They're they're going to be very uh very they're going to have a strong foundation to build their own families. So um like my question because right now like we know that the the world is defining marriage to its standards. Um like we I want our church to lay the foundation what is marriage? Well like what's the standard of marriage? Um and Dan Dan go ahead. I knew you were going to ask sorry I did it again. I knew that this was going to be one of the questions. So I like to write so I wrote it down so I don't sit there and repeat myself five times. So the question is what is marriage? Yeah. Marriage is more than a legal commitment or a promise between two people. It is a sacred covenant between my wife, myself, and God. It is the union of a man and a woman joined together in his sight with a shared commitment to love, honor, and remain faithful to one another. Okay. Yeah. And uh like right now we see that the the world is uh defining marriage its way but we know that marriage is between a man and a woman. There could be no other way of marriage. So any other way of marriage it's not marriage. You they can put a name to it. They can put a title to it but it's not marriage. we uh the the the Bible God who created us he defines what marriage is and it's between a man and a woman and how um I like how uh Peter was saying that like in a marriage we laid the strong foundation for the future generations but also Vasilian Peter mentioned that guys we don't want to be alone We don't want to be alone. We get lonely. We need that second half. That's natural. That's natural. Um so, so God, he gave us a woman. And don't be afraid to have kids if you can. uh don't be afraid to have them because how Peter mentioned it's a blessing and that's what God intended families to do. That was the purpose of families. Did you guys notice how he said it? He said a man and a man. Yeah. Well, I think every guy when they uh like when he sees the one, he's like, "Whoa, man." [laughter] And and and Tim, I wanted to maybe add a little bit since uh we touched on that subject. Uh there there is a lot of confusion going on right now, especially within the young people. What is a marriage? Uh is it just when two people love each other? That's how people say. And doesn't matter who they are, they love each other. So and and they and they come and form a covenant or an agreement and that's a marriage. Uh scripturally we find that's not a marriage and it's not because because the purpose once again one of the purposes of marriages was that two shall become one and then God tells them to go and and uh to have children right it says be fruitful and multiply. So whatever partnership cannot fulfill that requirement. I'm not talking about like medical issues or things like this. I'm saying overall naturally. If if this partnership cannot fulfill this requirement, it's not a marriage. And so so that's why for example if it's a gay couple they can never have they can try to adopt but that's that's not naturally that the human race doesn't continue because they're adopting someone else's uh child. So um but it's them who are supposed to do that and so and the only way that we can see that that that other part can be fulfilled if it's only between a man and a woman there there's no other way to do it. Yeah. And so that's where that second portion uh so so marriage is not just defined by love like two people loving each other. There's like several layers to I I believe how God defines what a marriage is and that's a critical part of it. I think you guys had the the perfect biblical answers and uh yeah there's nothing to add to that. Let's move on to the next question and this is going to be to Dan. Uh, could I uh Okay. Okay. We're going back to it. [laughter] Dan, Mike, we're going back to the purpose of marriage. Um, once again, I knew this was going to be a follow-up question for what is marriage? So, what I wrote down last night, I think is really important. But the purpose of marriage, the purpose of marriage is not simply to share a life together, but to glorify God through that life. To grow together spiritually, support one another through every season, and to build a relationship grounded in faith, love, and devotion. When entered into a true covenant with God, at its center, marriage becomes a lifelong partnership designed not only to strengthen the husband and wife, but also to reflect God's love and purpose. Yes. So, so a marriage is um a foreshadow of what's going to be between the bride and Christ. So, so, so we so we are um what's that word? I'm trying to find that word. So, we are examples even though there's a different word I'm looking for. ex foreshadow and like we're examples of how a family uh well a marriage between Jesus and his bride is going to be forever. We are to carry that throughout our life. So if we do not fulfill that in our life, if we are not being those examples, then we are uh breaking the rules of marriage. Do you guys kind of understand where I'm going? Okay. Well, we don't have much time, so last question. Uh, Dan, I would like for you to to answer this one, Dan and Erica. Um, is there such a thing as a perfect marriage? If so, what does that look like? If not, what should couples strive for instead? I think um this this question arises because [sighs] the guy and the girl fell in love. They think it's all roses. It's just green pastures, you know, they're they're all head over heels. Uh which which is good, which is right. Um and so they think that they're never going to argue. uh and then they get into it and it's just like reality opens up. So Dan, is there such a thing as a perfect marriage? If so, what does that look like? If not, what should couples strive for instead? Well, I think the goal for every marriage is to strive to be a union, you know, from God and with that. And I say it is important to take the time to be patient with your spouse and to understand their point of view on many things and and how it's important to share a life with a common goal, which is to be up there someday. Okay. Um, yeah. Okay. Silly already. So, I don't have the freedom that Dan has. [laughter] Like, I have to say there is a perfect marriage. I might get in trouble. [laughter] Just joking. Yeah. So, uh I think uh there are perfect marriages. I think every marriage that is trying is perfect. Uh it's just it's it's a mindset. Uh can you imagine never having a fight, never arguing? She is just a Yes. Yes sir. All the time. Uh there's no drama. The life would be boring. So there's got to be So a perfect marriage is when a husband and wife love each other. Uh they're they argue, they love, they So that's natural. That's normal. That's nothing. That's perfect. That's perfect. uh imperfect marriage uh is a marriage that uh that divorce problems start uh all all the problems you're uh start when you do a divorce. So yes, a mar every marriage that tries is perfect. I like that answer. Uh Lana, what do you think? Yeah, she she said that she supports it can't it can't be the other way. [laughter] Uh, Peter and Zoya, what are your thoughts? Oh, hold on a sec. I want to add. Yeah. So when we uh when we got the list of questions that we might be get asked, we spent uh three nights thinking about these uh and came to the conclusion after three days of of thinking about uh a perfect couple uh is when they uh attack every or uh try to deal with every question together. Not just the man decides or just the woman decides but together. That's a perfect couple. Uh Peter and Zoya. Uh let's your your guys's answer is the last. So um well, yeah. So I think you know there's a passage I I kind of um you know where it's like basically like where you basically it's like two rocks rubbing against each other kind of and so you're kind of you're kind of going like that you know. So that's kind of maybe conflict, but then it's kind of getting smoother as you know, time goes on, but that's okay because it's you both have like, you know, you both have um opinions and stuff. So it's good to discuss. Well, another just side thing like um I want to add actually to Peter's earlier um is actually as a couple, it's very important to be part of your local church. You know, as Bible says, do not forsake the gathering of believers. That's very important as a couple. even over the years, you know, of being married and stuff, you kind of you go to church together and you're, you know, other Christian couples and so you're kind of like and your parents and then and you're kind of like growing together in church, serving together or and working together and stuff. That's also important kind of like the spiritual aspect of um along with, you know, praying and reading the Bible and and that's very important as a couple, as a family as well. Okay. Yeah. So I I think a perfect marriage is what God sees as a marriage that was successful. So I think uh a a marriage uh a perfect marriage is when two couples or or a couple two people they see each other as partners and friends that they are in it together they uh to accomplish a certain purpose and and they're working on the same goal, right? And so they're working on the same goal of u you know having a first of all loving each other. They're working on that uh to have a a beautiful environment inside their home for their children. um and and the purpose that God had put in their hearts um in life. different people have uh let's say uh different talents that they are working on that and essentially uh finishing strong right and then when a person stands before God then he he can say you know here I am here's my wife here are my children we lived this life it wasn't a smooth necessarily life but but we accomplished those things that you set us out to accomplish right? We raise our children. They love the Lord. Um and and yeah, so so I I would say it's that it's it's that family that that fulfills um God's purpose here on earth. Uh right. Um uh serving the Lord, uh learning to love each other, uh teaching their children, helping them set up strong families. That's that that's a a marriage that God would be pleased. Okay. So, uh we ran out of time, but next next two weeks we're going to start with the deeper questions. And uh and so next week we don't have service. In two weeks, we'll be back. But the question we will start with when conflict arises in a marriage, what are some biblical healthy and biblical ways to work through it and find a resolution? So that is the question that we will start with but we just left off with the question of a perfect marriage and have we heard a perfect marriage is the one that work together. Nobody is saying that there's no going to be bumps. There's not going to be um arguing. There's it's not going to be smooth, but the perfect one are the ones who work it out. Who work it out and make it work. Um [clears throat] does does anybody have a question? Just we got like five minutes left. Does anybody have a a question for our guests? If not, we can also save those for uh in two weeks when we come back. Yes. Go ahead. To get married twice again. Okay. Okay. So uh I think common common law uh marriage uh which actually means a boyfriend and a girlfriend's been together for more than I think seven years I think that's what common law is and if you do get divorced everything gets split. Uh I think um that is not a biblical marriage. I think uh it needs to be a uh it's very sad if there's a prenup and it's written down in a way to where if you you're pretty much coming into a marriage knowing you're going to split and you're already decide how the split's going to be before it even happened. So, um uh I think the biblical one is going to be the one where uh you don't expect to get divor divorced or split up. You you go you go in there and it's not what you can uh benefit from this marriage, but it's how you can benefit to the marriage. uh what can you do for that uh for the other half? Uh so I think it's just a mindset. Uh just need to change it up just a little bit. Not a coming in what what am I going to benefit from it but but the other way how can I help uh the other person benefit? That's my and um and I would say that it has to happen in the church. Um twice. There you go. Yeah. But uh when you're married uh at the church, you understand that the first marriage, Adam and Eve, it was God who presided over it. And the Bible says, "Whatever God put together, let no man separate." So we see that in a uh biblical marriage, God is involved. And that's why if you're getting married, first of all, it should happen by um it should be officiated by um by ministers or um within the church. So there's a blessing of God over it. And then the couple understands that God watches their marriage that they've not just promised to each other. And if they want to break the contract, well, let's just break it, you know, because but but now they're breaking this promise that they said before God and God uh will hold those people accountable. And that's why um it's really important like V was say that when you're making that commitment you have a clear understanding that this is for life and because you promised that to her and to God can I add to Peter? Uh I think um it does need to happen in church but it also needs to be recorded uh in the court level too. uh be uh probably the spiritual aspect done here at church but the actual physical of taxes and and and and other purposes for say you have children and they need to go to school you know it it needs to be also uh probably recorded I think they're equally important uh I even uh told my daughter make sure uh I know the church marries you uh but go to courthouse make sure it's properly recorded. Uh there there is a story uh this is back in the day when the Chinese immigrants were were coming down to America and a lot of them lived in New York and they found out that uh a single mother would get better food stamps. This is in the 1930s4s. And what they did was they they on paper they divorced and uh the men just figured it out that hey we're now free. No, they would remarry and so the the Chinese women were uh were pretty much left you know all all by themselves. Uh so even though sometimes we try to cheat the system or think it's not that important, uh the the devil always finds a spot to where he can grab on and he'll destroy he'll use that pathway to destroy. So So get it recorded at the courthouse and and and have an ordained minister um uh do the blessing and and don't give the devil any uh room. Okay. Uh thank you guests. Uh would would you guys be able to come back for more uh slides and questions? We didn't even scratch the surface too. Yeah, I know. So much to this marriage. I know. But um okay, so in two weeks we'll see everybody here. Uh if you guys know anybody who's about to get married, who's thinking of getting married, who is married, um please invite them. In two weeks, we will be back and we will continue our topic on marriage, on biblical marriage. Let's all stand up and pray. Lord God, we thank you, Lord, for these times, God, that we could talk, Lord God, and just see how you like want a man and woman to be one, Lord God. how you intended it to be, how you created us to be, how you created marriage to be, Lord. Right now, the world is defining marriage its way, God, but it's not the way you, God, define it, Lord God. And over here, just give us the wisdom and the guidance, Lord, to teach and to share the way that you want us to be united in one, Lord, like with you and with our spouse. God, we uh pray for the rest of this day. I bless each person here. I bless each person watching us online. May you bless all of us in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For your kingdom, your power, and glory forever are yours. Amen. Be blessed. We'll see everybody for